Game of Thrones S7 Ep5 Recap & Reactions

Two Queens, One King & an Army of the Dead  in “Eastwatch”

This episode jumps to a start at the aftermath of Daenerys blasting the Lannister loot train to smithereens from atop Drogon. Jamie and Bronn come splashing and flailing to the surface of the water, having just barely avoided a blast of dragon fire, and they do it with much more grace and finesse than Harry did when resurfacing after the second task in The Goblet of Fire. Even though they’re loaded down in plate armour. And their lives were on the line and junk. They both know one thing: they’re screwed. Bronn peaces out, leaving Jamie the one to tell Cersei what happened. Ack.

With the charred remains of the fields around her, Dany dismounts Drogon and offers the remaining troops two options: bend the knee and swear fealty to her, or die. Drogon just has to gnash his teeth and give a roar and it sends most of the guys crashing to the ground, trembling like jello. Some of them may have also peed themselves a little.

But not Randyll and Dickon Tarly. Nope. These two stragglers refuse to change their allegiance to the Mother of Dragons and for their defiance they’re put to death at once. Not beheaded, but torched by Drogon’s fire. Eeek. For all the ways Dany is merciful, the girl can be ruthless when she needs to be. Such is the ways of war!

In Old Town the Maesters receive a scroll from Winterfell with words of warning that the White Walkers are on their way, and everyone's life is in danger. DAAAANGER. Bran wargs out, using Ravens to observe the enormous army of the dead gaining on the wall. Then we pop back to Old Town where the Maesters chalk the doom and gloom the message foretells up to being just another superstition. It wouldn’t be the first time a Westerosi predicted catastrophe, many of which have notoriously come to nothing. Sam speaks up in Bran’s defense, but the Maesters aren’t having it.

Dany returns to Dragonstone, and lands Drogon right in front of Jon who’s standing atop a green and windy shelf of land. Taking the dragon in for the very first time, his massive reptilian eyes, rough and tough scaly skin, and his many rows of protruding teeth, Jon has a total Hiccup moment and sticks out his hand, touching Drogon on his snout, and gazing deeply into his eyes. Drogon isn’t exactly Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon but it’s still a touching moment, and it’s a wink and nod at Jon’s (secretly) Targaryen lineage. Who else has touched one of Dany’s dragons so intimately? So unhesitantly? So unflinchingly? Jon has got that fire in his blood, and in this split second it shows.

Back to ice, in Winterfell Sansa is bombarded by complaints against Jon. Little sis Arya is pissed that Sansa didn’t shut them down and rush to Jon’s defense, and resents the fact that Sansa has taken up this mantle of control. She warns Sansa that she knows what she’s up to, and knows that Sansa is going to want to keep this power and influence. So much for the sisterly Stark love we saw in “The Spoils of War”. But ahh well, these two ladies always did clash. Just this time the disagreement between them isn’t as explosive….for now.

Jorah Mormont reaches Khaleesi in record time, you could practically hear that Breakfast Club song booming out in the background as he runs up to the blond beauty. She welcomes him back with open arms -- no really! They have a huge hug! -- and is stoked to see he’s cured of grayscale.

On team Ice and Fire’s agenda (after Ser Friendzone and Dany have their moment) is getting Cersei to understand just how freaking close the White Walkers are to breaching wall and overrunning Westeros with all their frozen zombie ferocity. The plan? Jon volunteers as tribute to go beyond the wall and snatch a Wight, which Dany’s small council decides should be brought to Cersei in all its undead glory to show her the gravity of these invaders and that they’re not just a myth perpetuated by old wives and wet nurses. Part of this plan involves getting Tyrion into Kings Landing to have a chat with Jamie. If anyone can convince her to tackle the Wights it’s her brother-lover! And who better to smuggle the imp into Kings Landing than the onion knight himself-- Ser Davos!

Tyrion and Jamie have their clandestine meeting in the torchlit underground passages of the Red Keep. Brokered by none other than Bronn! Who’s back for a hot minute, and is clearly still Team Tyrion. Jamie isn’t exactly stoked to see his patricidal little bro but at least he’s at ease in his knowledge that he didn’t poison Joffrey after all. Tyrion cuts right to the chase and tells Jamie that Dany wants a meeting with Cersei and that she wants a truce. With the White Walkers almost at the seven kingdoms the ‘Dragon Queen’ wants that smug little brother-effing Lannister to shove her pride aside and turn her attacks on the real threat.

Meanwhile Davos has his own business is Flea Bottom. He finds none other than Gendry working on the "Street of Steel". The smithy and Robert Baratheon’s bastard son has shorn his hair and although he’s incognito and doing his biz right under the Queen’s nose, he’s D-O-N-E, done with arming Lannister troops with weapons of his own creation. In seconds after reuniting with Davos he leaps at the chance to hitch a ride back on the row boat and take up arms alongside the King in the North. Wielding a hefty war hammer of his own creation en route to the boat Gendry whacks two Lannister guards with lightening fast blows, leaving their pulpy faced dead selves on the shore. Welcome to the team Gendry! Yaaas!

Gendry’s partnership and tag-teaming with Jon has me freaking the heck out. Both of these boys are BEASTS and undeniably the BEST versions of their father. Yes I’m still counting Ned Stark as Jon’s father, even if not biological, the man raised him and instilled so many values (honor!!!!!!) into him. Let me commence my fangirl screaming, because I AM SO STOKED.

Ahem… on that same note, back in Old Town Sam is fed up with all the records he has to re-write. Gilly has enough enthusiasm and sunshine for the both of them, and despite Sam’s grumpy attitude she enjoys tapping into her now somewhat honed reading abilities, and asks Sam to give her some context. A certain event in a certain scroll has her puzzled, what is an annulment? And why did a Prince "Ragger" have one? And a secret wedding ceremony in Dorne. OMG Gilly! Sam is still steaming over this latest ridiculous task, and waves Gilly’s comment away, not realizing HE JUST FIGURED OUT HIS BEST FRIENDS ORIGINS AND THAT HE’S A LEGITIMATE TARGARYEN AFTER ALL LIKE HOLY FREAKING CANNOLI. Instead he packs up baby Sam and Gilly and decides to ditch his Maester training, hitch up a carriage and leave Old Town. Huh. Didn’t see that coming.

Back in Winterfell, Littlefinger is being weasely as always. Arya spies him sketchily meeting with a young girl in the stables and then again exchanging a tiny scroll with a man and thanking him for his loyalty to lady Sansa. He stashes it in Sansa's quarters which Arya unlocks and roots around in. She finds it tucked into a tear in the mattress and when she yanks it open we don't see all the words but what we do see "stealing his throne" and her aghast and furious look  is enough.

Baelish set it up so it looks as though Sansa is trying to usurp Jon, and Arya is TOTALLY buying this faux betrayal hook line and sinker. Darn it Arya. Give your sister some credit! Baelish's smirk as he lurks in the shadowy corridor watching Arya leave Sansa's room is answer enough that this is alllllllll a plan devised by him.

Plans and prophecies continue to be a running theme in Sandor Clegane’s storyline. It’s with Jon, Davos and Gendry’s arrival at the wall that his narrative collides with Jon’s. Tormund Giantsbane takes the trio to a cell where The Hound, Thoros of Myr and Beric Dondarrion are locked up. The Brotherhood Without Banners threesome came to Eastwatch on their own, because what they seek lays beyond the wall as well. Their Lord of Light demands that they get at the White Walkers. This is perf news for Jon who’s going to need some more muscle to capture a Wight. But I gotta say, this brilliant plan of his to just pick off a Wight from the herd or whatever is moronic and probably going to fail. Why the heck is everyone going along with this? Shaking my head, shaking my head, shaking my head, through the entire preview for next week's episode, which looks to be all about Jon and company trekking beyond the wall and racing against these frostbitten zombies. Jon you’ve already been knifed in the heart once, getting mauled by the Night King is so NOT a good look for you.

photos from IMDB.