Riverdale 'The Wrestler' S2. Ep. 11 Recap and Reactions

Chapter 24: The Wrestler

Some TV shows are glorious and breathtaking escapes from reality with soaring dragons, or scheming Gods clamoring to leave their mark on the world. Some shows are full of time traveling escapades, or take place in a chilling dystopian universe that reads like 1985 crossed with The Twilight Zone. And then there are those that are set in a gossipy small town. Some TV are like a sumptuous feast, like Game of Thrones and American Gods. Some are like an elaborately and meticulously decorated wedding cake like Outlander and Alias Grace.

And then there’s Riverdale. If the above shows are dishes and desserts at a fancy restaurant, Riverdale is a disc of fried dough from a carnival, scattered with powdered sugar on a paper plate. It’s greasy and sweet and tasty, but it’s really just empty calories. Riverdale should have A LOT going for it. It’s a story of a seemingly quaint community that is ACTUALLY fractured and rife with scandal, lies, and secrets. But instead, it opts to take dramatic routes that make everything so so so absurd and ridiculous that it’s not even remotely resembling reality. Riverdale is a junk food show.

I’m not saying this to pooh-pooh on any Riverdale superfans parade. If Archie and the gang are you jam, by all means, celebrate it girl! If you’re totally absorbed by the ridiculousness and buy into the storylines, that’s totally cool! Really! Do you! But as for me? Riverdale is plain and simple a guilty pleasure. I can no longer take it seriously after all of the bull that was generated by the first half of season 2. I have A LOT of problems with Riverdale. But it’s a guilty pleasure nonetheless, one I find myself going back to every Wednesday. I’ll say at least this about Riverdale: the female friendships and characters are so freaking fantastic. That alone is one thing that keeps me tuning in. It beats trashy reality TV and shows where girls are pitted against one another!!

Soooooo let’s get the recap and reactions to The Wrestler!

It’s the second episode of Riverdale’s midseason return. The whole back to basics school days routine is back but with a slightly darker twist.  So naturally a bunch of OMG WTF things go down:

1. Hiram ‘The Ram’ Lodge was apparently a wrestling LEGEND when he was a student at Riverdale High. Maybe I’m having concussion brain amnesia but I could’ve sworn Hermione was the one from Riverdale and Hiram from a big city. WELLLLLLLL…. He suddenly has a renewed desire to sit on the boys wrestling tryouts and practice, so naturally, again, Archie hurls himself into the sport, trying to impress Ronnie’s padre.

And he fails. Epically.

Cue long scenes of cringey spandex uniformed dudes writhing and pulling on one another. But they’re all porno star hot and chiseled because this is Riverdale High and everyone is a model.

2. Jughead’s cultural appropriation! Soooo for just about the first time self-proclaimed ‘weirdo’  Jughead’s writing gets him in some deep doo doo. After learning about how the founder of Riverdale General Pickens, like just about every other white conquering settler, proceeded to banish and slaughter all the native peoples, yet is placed on a pedestal with a town statue and day dedicated to him celebrated each year, Juggy is justifiably pissed off.

He takes it a step further and interviews Toni’s Native American grandfather who tells Jug that the ‘Serpents’ originated with the indigenous peoples as a way to keep their culture and history close  to them despite the white takeover and hatred.

Sooooo in line with Jughead’s constant fury and itching-for-a-fight personality, he turns this little fact on its head- claiming that being a South Side Serpent is valuing that way of life and keeping a culture and peoples alive, and how DARE the North Side think little of them. But let’s be real. The Serpents are a tattooed biker gang. They’re the Greasers of this world. They’re not guardians of culture or heroes. They’re a rowdy and self-serving bunch that has some undeniably criminal connections.

In his newspaper article Jug unleashes a slew of negativity and hatred, that’s pretty much just his own vendetta against the North Side and paints Toni’s gramps as a victim. Something Toni is SO NOT cool with. She calls him out on his attitude and tells him it wasn’t his story to tell. But still as we see at Serpents launch a protest during Pickens Day she ultimately gives in to his demands. Ugh. Come on Toni. Stand your ground.

3. That sketchy FBI Agent Adams  is still rendezvousing with Archie in his garage and still jonesing for dirty details on Hiram Lodge. There’s no way in hell that Agent Absolutely Real is legit FBI. What would be an OMG plot twist, one that could earn Riverdale some much needed points: if Mr. Agent is hired by Hiram Lodge and deliberately sent to Archie as a test. Yes.

4. Betty’s fidgety and weaselly recently discovered  big brother Chic is now living in the Cooper home. He looks like a starved meth addict and his creeping around HARDLY makes him endearing. Kevin does some digging, now that he and Betty and BFFLS again and he finds out Chic is basically a webcam porn star. That’s what he meant when he talked about his ‘clients’, but it doesn’t exactly explain why he was stabbed by the Hostel owner or whoever Stabby McStabpants was. And let’s be real, Chic, probably has a Jingle Jangle problem too. I’d still really love for there to be a twist that Chic isn’t Betty’s brother after all, but he’s just impersonating him. Maybe he offed the real Charles Smith and stole his identity-- became him, if you will-- but I kind of doubt the writers are going to go in that direction. Ugh. They’ve let me down far too many times for me to expect much quality in the plot twists.

5. Hal Cooper is PISSED AF that creepy Chic is there and while ranting about it at the Pickens Day shindig, he’s overheard by who else by eavesdropper, lurker, and best dressed Penelope Blossom-- obviously Cheryl gets it from her mama. What’s not ‘like mother like daughter’? Penelope’s shocking new career as a companion for the ‘lonely men’ of Riverdale. She’s a woman of the night. She’s a sensual lady friend. Whatever way you spin it, she’s pimping herself out, and LOVES it. Annnnd when this episode comes to a close we see her starting to seduce Hal. *gags*

6. With a few keystrokes, as Jughead narrates in his closing monologue, Betty’s ‘dark education’ begins with Chic introducing her to his online fantasy world. Because apparently he channels out the ‘darkness inside him’ by taking on different personas for his clients, and Betty doesn’t want to wait a second to be taught. Please please please people, I can’t be the only one that thinks Dark!Betty is total bullshit. I’ve earned a reputation as a savage reviewer on Goodreads and among instagram and it’s just pouring out of me right now. All the feels? Yeah if the feels are outrage and exasperation.

If I roll my eyes any harder they may just pop right out of my head. The only decent things about this episode?

Firstly: The battle of wills between Archie and Hiram. The constant tension between the two and their transparent dislike of one another is entertaining especially when they try to pull it off as just being a couple of rowdy pals for Veronica’s sake. But praise be, Veronica is still the BRIGHTEST and most aware character in all of Riverdale and isn’t buying that flimsy BS lie.

Ultimately, Archie bests Hiram in the Wrestling tryouts when Hiram obviously pitted Archie against Chuck, a dude in a much higher weight class than Archie. Which is hella immature for a middle-aged man to do to a teenage boy.

But instead of being taken down by Chuck, Archie comes out victorious much to Hiram’s dismay-- so Hiram drops the psycho dad act (“A FATHER IS FOREVER!”) he has a fireside office chat with Archie and over whiskey says he’s now tolerating Archie. And for once, Archie isn’t a total moron, and has some tact.

He answers Hiram’s college question by saying Business is his new path, and Hiram takes him on as a mentor. Both are clearly playing each other and still determined to get as much of an advantage as they can.

Secondly: Veronica. YES. She’s worth mentioning again. Her new role in Lodge Industries is so fascinating and she’s got such a confidence and self assuredness that continues to radiate out of her. I love how she’s so in tune with herself and completely authentic to who she is.

The wall that’s erected between her and Josie by Mayor Sierra McCoy is also SO SO interesting! Josie is now the first teen to have some seeds of doubt with Veronica’s character-- Mayor McCoy does say after all, very openly, that she hates how Hiram and Hermione use their daughter to further their business endeavours. And she bans Josie from performing with the Pussycats at the Pickens Day festivities, because she’s afraid of Josie’s reputation getting dragged through the mud.

SOOOO Veronica is the one who gets together with Valerie and Melody and is introduced as the headliner, Veronica and the Pussycats, much to Josie’s shocked and heartbroken reaction.