Buh-Bye Black Hood, School Is Back in Session in Riverdale!!!

Riverdale Season 2 Returns!

Now that the “Town with Pep!” is no longer being terrorized by a masked trigger-happy janitor, Betty, Veronica, Archie and the rest of the gang is back at Riverdale High and hitting the books when season 2 returns this Wednesday on the CW. The creator Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa revealed to Entertainment Weekly  “There’s still going to be a pulpy noir crime element to the second half, but there will be a resurgence of high school hijinks, and getting back to the roots of what Archie’s all about, which is the kids and the school.”

Umm, YES PLEASE. I can’t be the only one that is STOKED that we may be getting back the irresistible witty and sassy dram-com that rocked our world.

The first half of season 2 wasn’t hit by a case of the Sophomore Slump but instead it was a scattered and sloppy mess -- trying to do too much at once and playing hard and fast with logic and our patience. Archie’s attitude was infuriating and moronic -- making him seem more and more like a brainless hot guy than the flawed but still resourceful and somewhat smart jock, singer, best friend and boyfriend in season 1. Betty did an awkward strip tease in the Serpents bar with her mom Alice front and centre. And one of the most beloved ships of all time, Bughead, was mercilessly sunk….before being recovered from the depths of the sea of our devastation...before once AGAIN being not only snatched away but basically set on FIRE.   

There are SO many exciting things ahead of us in the rest of this season. THESE are the juiciest plot points we NEED to see more of:

1. Would the Real Black Hood Please Stand Up!?

The creepy AF janitor that only appeared in two episodes is the gunslinger obsessed with Betty and on a manic mission to cleanse Riverdale of sinners? WTF. I don’t buy this.  He didn't even have green eyes! False reveals popped up in season 1 and you’d have to be CRAY CRAY to think this is over, and that Svenson is the culprit.

2. Secret Smooches

Veronica figured it out INSTANTLY. The steamy affair between Mayor McCoy & Sheriff Keller is one of Riverdale’s latest dirty little secrets which means that their motel hookups won’t stay quiet for long. What’s the deal with the missing Mrs. Keller? Is she really just stationed overseas? What led these two pillars of Riverdale’s community to start banging? Could FP and Alice also get jiggy with it and rekindle their romance? The sexual tension between Mrs. Cooper and Juggy’s DILF ex-con father is impossible to ignore.

3. The Family Business

After discovering the deed to Pop’s Chock’lit Shop stuffed in one of Hiram’s desk drawers Veronica is SO done with just being a silent business partner. Daddy’s little girl is no more! Ronnie stands up and asserts her right to be an active part of Lodge industries and her parents reluctantly agree to tell her everything. This means finding out exactly WHAT Hermione and Hiram are up to-- nothing illegal, they claim-- and what the long term goals of the family business are. We still don’t know anything. Could they have a different definition for what’s illegal? Hiram WAS put behind bars once before!

4. Hello Big Brother! And New Babies!

Chic Cooper, Alice’s first born son and Betty’s surprise sibling is set to make his debut before this season ends. In an interview with Glamour Lili Reinhart who plays the pony tail wearing girl-next-door Betty, she reveals that “There might be some sister/brother bonding over mental health issues.” So when exactly is Chic going to blow into Riverdale? And what is he going to want? Where will Hal, aka Papa Cooper, stand when all is said and done?! Also Polly’s due to deliver her and Jason’s babies. We barely saw the pregnant teen this season, before Betty urged her to hide out at a farm a few towns away to avoid the wrath of the Black Hood. What effect are the newborn Blossom-Cooper twins going to have on Betty, Cheryl and the rest of their families?! Will their births even go well!? Polly having labor complications would be in character for the soapy drama that often takes over on Riverdale.

5. We Need to Talk About Betty

Still on the subject of Riverdale’s sweetheart, Betty shed her wholesome image during her “Serpents Dance” in the White Worm in the last episode before the season’s break. Her out of character strip tease while singing the anything-but-sexy song Mad World was cringey and uncomfortable and instead of making her part of Juggy’s world, only convinced the cynical loner to officially end things with Betty. One look at Betty’s face as she burns almost everything the Black Hood left her in the fireplace is enough to let us all know there’s a storm brewing inside her, and it’s not going to stay contained for long.  In her interview with Glamour Lili says that Betty’s mental health is going to be explored more in this half of the season.

6. The Bombshell and the Kitty

Cheryl Blossom’s stalkerish obsession with the Pussycats founder and lead singer Josie is one of the most OMG reveals of the season. Why is Cheryl suddenly so invested in seeing Josie become a hit musician and what’s with the whole pig heart package and threatening letters?! Could Cheryl also be the one who sent Betty threatening letters too? She definitely is one of the most in-the-know characters in the entire town. Her storyline is both fascinating and eerie as hell! And what about Penelope? Are we going to find out more about why Mrs. Blossom was so terrible to her daughter? That teaser trailer with Cheryl gazing into her reflection is dark and chilling, and something I still can’t get out of my head.

7. Boy Meets Girl, Boy Kisses Girl

Ugh. Betty and Jughead and Veronica and Archie have BARELY broken up before Archie locks lips with his bff Betty. After brushing aside her affections in season 1, now Archie is suddenly keen on smooching the girl next door. Is it desperation that’s leading him to let his hormones and dick lead the way? Methinks it’s likely. Especially because he was so hurt and crushed over Veronica not being able to tell him the “L word” it makes sense that Archie, sensitive and vulnerable as he is, would seek out that love and attention from Betty, someone who’s offered it up to him in abundance over the years. Still, I can’t be the only one that groaned and cringed and uttered a WTF during their kiss. It doesn’t feel right or natural, what it DOES feel like is just another dramatic turn, and a relationship that’s bound to blow up in smoke.

8. Hugs Not Drugs

With the reveal and death of the latest Sugar Man, Jughead’s Southside English teacher Mr. Phillips, there’s bound to be a new ringleader to take his place. Jingle Jangle has spread far beyond just the Ghoulie gang bangers as we found out Reggie was dealing to Riverdale high students. Midge and Moose weren’t the only ones who dabbled in the J.J. -- ugh, that horrible Nick St. Clair shindig?! Who’s going to take over the biz this time? Could it be another familiar face?

9. And What About Penny?

Jughead, Toni, Sweet Pea and the rest of his Southside Serpent pals single handedly took on Penny Peabody in the last episode that aired before the break. Done with the Snake Charmer’s manipulation and exploitation, and furious with the debts the drug Queenpin traps people in, Jughead isn’t the first to say it’s time for Penny to go. But he is the first to act on it. With a knife in tow, and a steely, determined take-no-prisoners hardness to his face, Juggy descended on Penny’s tattoo that is inked in the soft fleshiness of her arm. You KNOW where this is going! Likely Penny is still alive - Juggy isn’t a murderer after all - but with her Serpent affiliation forcibly carved out of her will she join forces with ANOTHER gang to seek revenge on Juggy and F.P. and the other Serpents that rose up against her? It doesn’t seem like she’s going to take what was dished out to her sitting down!

Are there any other OMG plot points you’re excited about seeing when Riverdale returns?! Share in the comments!